The Only Brownie Recipe You'll Ever Need

I've tried many, and I keep coming back to the one I grew up with. It could be one of those Proustian things but, as far as I'm concerned, here is what a brownie is supposed to be:

Melt 4 oz. each of best-quality unsweetened chocolate and butter. Let cool slightly. Beat together 2 cups sugar and 4 eggs. Add in butter, chocolate, and a splash of vanilla, and then blend in one cup of flour. Pour into a greased 9x13 baking dish and let it go for 30-40 minutes at 350 degrees. Let cool before you cut them or the top crust will crumble into nothingness.

If you must, doctor them up with nuts, chips, coconut, frosting, etc. The Man likes all his baked goods female and I almost always humor him and leave the nuts out.

That is all.

A Craving is Satisfied

I have been wanting to have toasted cinnamon raisin bread for breakfast for several weeks now. It's a good thing for when you're sick because it makes you feel cared for. Cinnamon raisin bread is heartier and less of a dessert than cinnamon rolls. But (and people who grew up with real food will know what I'm talking about) nothing you can get at the bakery, much less at the supermarket, comes anywhere near the stuff you can make for yourself at home. But when you're sick, who is up to baking bread? (No--we don't do bread machines here. Just--no, and that's that.)

Yesterday, I decided that I wanted goddamned cinnamon raisin bread and no 35-day old virus was going to stop me. This is how you do it:

1. Soak some raisins in warm water.
2. While the raisins are soaking, proof the yeast and warm some milk, butter, sugar, and salt.
3. Put the liquid and the yeast in your big Kitchen Aid mixer with about 1/2 cup of wheat germ and 2 cups of flour and blend.
4. Keep adding flour. When you've got about 4 cups of flour in, turn the mixer up to medium and beat the dough until it forms kind of stringy strands between the beater and the side of the bowl. You are developing the gluten, which is the structure that holds the bread up when it rises. Drain the raisins and dump them in at this point, blending a little longer.
5. Scrape down the beater and the sides of the bowl and switch to the dough hook. Keep adding flour about a half cup at a time until you've put in 6-7 cups total, depending on how wet your raisins were and the humidity that day.
6. Knead, either in the mixer or by hand, until the dough is smooth and bounces back when you poke it a little.
7. Put the dough in a greased bowl, cover with a clean serviette, and set to rise until about double, probably 60-90 minutes depending on how warm it is that day.
8. Punch the dough down, knead lightly for a few seconds, then cut in half. Form the halves into balls and let it rest under a towel for 5-10 minutes.
9. Meanwhile, get out your loaf pans and grease them. Lightly flour your rolling surface. Blend a half-cup of sugar and a tablespoon of cinnamon and set it aside.
10. Roll out one ball of dough into an approximate rectangle about 8x15 or so. It doesn't have to be perfect. Sprinkle with half of the sugar/cinnamon. Roll it up from the short end like a jelly roll. Do it fairly tightly. Pinch the ends shut and fold them under so the dough is approximately the size of your loaf pan. Repeat with the other ball.
11. Again with the towel and rising, about 60 minutes this time, or until it crowns nicely over the top of the pans, but not too high.
12. Heat the oven to 375 and bake about 45 minutes, shielding the tops with foil during the last 15 minutes or so if you want.

I typically use a mix of regular and whole wheat flour. I didn't have much regular flour this time, so I used mainly whole wheat, and this is what I ended up with:

Yum. Good toasted, or not, with butter or cream cheese. Raisins are not good for dogs, so pick the raisins out before you give any to your beagles.

Baking Q & A

Question: Why does the last batch of oatmeal cookies that Dirtbunny made suck so bad?


Answer: Because she forgot to put most of the sugar in.


I was aiming for a wholesome and semi-nutritious comfort food to go with the bronchitis, but was defeated by the narcotic cough syrup.

Post-election special dinner

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